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Coming back to life.
Aug. 30th, 2008 07:41 pmI'm back.
I can explain in detail what happened if anyone wishes to know, but the gist of it was: Things start innocently enough with old computer dying, got a new laptop (thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shinkuu's help), got DSL, switched modem that came with the DSL service to a wireless one, NEW computer has faulty motherboard and is sent away to get fixed (took maybe three weeks), then I manage to break TWO wireless modem/routers in the span of two months (by then it was the end of May or so when things with the comp/internet finally settled down).
However, in addition to the technical difficulties, well... remember those old high school friends I mentioned back in December? Well, at about the same time the computer stuff went down, my offline life decided to give me a sound kick in the rear by making me realize that, despite having neglected them for such a long time, they (especially one in particular) still wanted me in their lives; and I, after several years of living rather like a hermit, realized that I wanted... no, craved that company.
So, I started seeing them - as well as a longtime neighbor/very close friend who I also had neglected, who's currently going through some personal problems - regularly. Very, very regularly. At least once a week (usually my neighbor friend, since she's the closest), now that things have settled down a bit. My online time (which I'd reduced considerably) was also mostly eaten up by them for a good long while, since we use Facebook to keep in touch/plan stuff.
Once I started to have some more spare time online, however, I did, in the past few months, slowly manage to catch up with the entire backlog of entries for - at the very least - the LJs of my closest friends, and - in the case of those of you I don't know quite as well - went back a few months in those journals, so I'm MOSTLY up to speed in what y'all did during my absence. It was also a reason for my further delay in posting, as I wanted to be caught up with you guys before I said anything here.
...that and the fact that, when I started to realize how long it was taking me to catch up and just HOW long I'd been gone, I... well, I got anxious. And when I get anxious, I procrastinate (further). I started to think you guys would be angry at me for abandoning y'all so suddenly, and I couldn't handle the thought, so I took even longer to finish than it should've taken.
...which leads us to this point. Now that - with a little prodding fromredconverse because frankly, I'm still really, really anxious - I'm here posting again, I wanted to say that:
I apologize. In my attempts to reconnect with my old local friends - which I had terribly neglected for many years - I wound up neglecting you guys just as much, and that's not fair at all, as your friendships are just as very real and important to me as theirs are. I only hope I can find a "happy medium" between online and offline life so as to not do that to any of you (and by that I also mean my local crew) ever again.
All I can hope for is your understanding, if nothing else. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry.
I can explain in detail what happened if anyone wishes to know, but the gist of it was: Things start innocently enough with old computer dying, got a new laptop (thanks to
shinkuu's help), got DSL, switched modem that came with the DSL service to a wireless one, NEW computer has faulty motherboard and is sent away to get fixed (took maybe three weeks), then I manage to break TWO wireless modem/routers in the span of two months (by then it was the end of May or so when things with the comp/internet finally settled down).However, in addition to the technical difficulties, well... remember those old high school friends I mentioned back in December? Well, at about the same time the computer stuff went down, my offline life decided to give me a sound kick in the rear by making me realize that, despite having neglected them for such a long time, they (especially one in particular) still wanted me in their lives; and I, after several years of living rather like a hermit, realized that I wanted... no, craved that company.
So, I started seeing them - as well as a longtime neighbor/very close friend who I also had neglected, who's currently going through some personal problems - regularly. Very, very regularly. At least once a week (usually my neighbor friend, since she's the closest), now that things have settled down a bit. My online time (which I'd reduced considerably) was also mostly eaten up by them for a good long while, since we use Facebook to keep in touch/plan stuff.
Once I started to have some more spare time online, however, I did, in the past few months, slowly manage to catch up with the entire backlog of entries for - at the very least - the LJs of my closest friends, and - in the case of those of you I don't know quite as well - went back a few months in those journals, so I'm MOSTLY up to speed in what y'all did during my absence. It was also a reason for my further delay in posting, as I wanted to be caught up with you guys before I said anything here.
...that and the fact that, when I started to realize how long it was taking me to catch up and just HOW long I'd been gone, I... well, I got anxious. And when I get anxious, I procrastinate (further). I started to think you guys would be angry at me for abandoning y'all so suddenly, and I couldn't handle the thought, so I took even longer to finish than it should've taken.
...which leads us to this point. Now that - with a little prodding from
redconverse because frankly, I'm still really, really anxious - I'm here posting again, I wanted to say that:I apologize. In my attempts to reconnect with my old local friends - which I had terribly neglected for many years - I wound up neglecting you guys just as much, and that's not fair at all, as your friendships are just as very real and important to me as theirs are. I only hope I can find a "happy medium" between online and offline life so as to not do that to any of you (and by that I also mean my local crew) ever again.
All I can hope for is your understanding, if nothing else. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry.
