Coming back to life.

[aruru]

I'm back.


I can explain in detail what happened if anyone wishes to know, but the gist of it was: Things start innocently enough with old computer dying, got a new laptop (thanks to shinkuu's help), got DSL, switched modem that came with the DSL service to a wireless one, NEW computer has faulty motherboard and is sent away to get fixed (took maybe three weeks), then I manage to break TWO wireless modem/routers in the span of two months (by then it was the end of May or so when things with the comp/internet finally settled down).

However, in addition to the technical difficulties, well... remember those old high school friends I mentioned back in December? Well, at about the same time the computer stuff went down, my offline life decided to give me a sound kick in the rear by making me realize that, despite having neglected them for such a long time, they (especially one in particular) still wanted me in their lives; and I, after several years of living rather like a hermit, realized that I wanted... no, craved that company.

So, I started seeing them - as well as a longtime neighbor/very close friend who I also had neglected, who's currently going through some personal problems - regularly. Very, very regularly. At least once a week (usually my neighbor friend, since she's the closest), now that things have settled down a bit. My online time (which I'd reduced considerably) was also mostly eaten up by them for a good long while, since we use Facebook to keep in touch/plan stuff.

Once I started to have some more spare time online, however, I did, in the past few months, slowly manage to catch up with the entire backlog of entries for - at the very least - the LJs of my closest friends, and - in the case of those of you I don't know quite as well - went back a few months in those journals, so I'm MOSTLY up to speed in what y'all did during my absence. It was also a reason for my further delay in posting, as I wanted to be caught up with you guys before I said anything here.

...that and the fact that, when I started to realize how long it was taking me to catch up and just HOW long I'd been gone, I... well, I got anxious. And when I get anxious, I procrastinate (further). I started to think you guys would be angry at me for abandoning y'all so suddenly, and I couldn't handle the thought, so I took even longer to finish than it should've taken.

...which leads us to this point. Now that - with a little prodding from redconverse because frankly, I'm still really, really anxious - I'm here posting again, I wanted to say that:


I apologize. In my attempts to reconnect with my old local friends - which I had terribly neglected for many years - I wound up neglecting you guys just as much, and that's not fair at all, as your friendships are just as very real and important to me as theirs are. I only hope I can find a "happy medium" between online and offline life so as to not do that to any of you (and by that I also mean my local crew) ever again.

All I can hope for is your understanding, if nothing else. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry.

Comments

[shoiryu.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey, honey. You are SO not obligated to be everpresent online, at least as far as I'm concerned. ♥ I hope it's been a good time in the land of real life! :D

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Shoi. Your comment does much to relieve me. ♥ And yeah, offline life is pretty good, even with my friend's problems worrying me a bit at times - still great to see her so often now, though.

Also... why the heck is my Viki icon not displaying? I'm getting some glasses dude, and though it's a nice icon, it's definitely not one of mine? Bwuh? Is this the glitch I was reading about in Journalfen earlier? :O

[shoiryu.livejournal.com]

♥ I'm glad!

I heard LJ's been acting weird about icons recently? I can see your Viki icon no problem, though!

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my previous reply that I'm super-proud of you for getting the courage to go back to school - you're definitely getting back on track, and I can only respect and admire that. I applaud you! :) How's college life treating you thus far, btw?


Ah, ok, as long as it doesn't still do that weird "fake-log you in as someone else" bug I also read about on JF, I won't fret over it too much, then!

[shoiryu.livejournal.com]

:D! Thank you thank you! It's been going REALLY well so far, I'm completely thrilled and feeling much better about everything.

Yeah, AFAIK, they're working on it, though the people on JF probably know more than I do....

[aruru.livejournal.com]

That's great. And hey, just to tell you now - even if you stumble along the way or get scared, don't fret, as I can see from your entries that you've got a ton of good people backing you up! You keep on truckin', ya hear? :)

[shoiryu.livejournal.com]

Yes ma'am! ♥ (It really is such a huge relief to have so many people in my corner, you have no idea, aaa. :()

[arcian.livejournal.com]

Hey, there's no reason to feel bad about having stuff going on in your offline life! Real life happens, and honestly, it's healthy to have something more than just an online life, especially if someone needs you to be there for them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm not angry at all, we're cool, and if anyone seriously gives you shit over re-connecting with your offline friends instead of hovering obsessively over LJ, screw 'em.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Arcy. It's a relief to hear that from you too, like you wouldn't believe. *HUG* Thank you.

Oh, and I'm glad that trip with your family you came back from a few days ago went well. Too bad I didn't get back on here sooner, so I could join the bandwagon and prod ya for a drunken postcard too, eheh! ^^;;

[arex.livejournal.com]

Good thing I update like once a month to make it easy to catch up with me!

But no harm done. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people because I consider myself too uninteresting to seek conversations. D:

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Yeah, your LJ was indeed one of the quickest I caught up with, incidentally!

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm glad to hear from you too - I know we're not as "close" like some of the other folks on my friendslist are, but I do always appreciate it when you post! ♥

And I can sympathize with the "feeling uninteresting" part - I too tend to think I am as such sometimes, eheh... ^^;;


BTW, I saw your Soul Calibur IV edits of the FFT cast and, even though I never got really far in FFT to see all the chara designs, they were pretty amazing likenesses! You really got a knack for this editing stuff. :)

[arex.livejournal.com]

It's cool. We'll always have those days where Cheebs, RJ, you and I were always a tight knit group...in captions. XD

It's a good thing I have a knack for never having a shortage of time, otherwise I wouldn't be able to make sprite or in-game character edits.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Yeah, those old things! Man, mine were SO lame and fangirly to the max... still, I miss 'em, as I lost the files about two computers ago. Sadpants. ;_;

But yes, I really had fun with our caption-sparring of yore! :D And hopefully we'll get to still talk at least every now and then, as long as we've got LJ to keep us together! ♥

[arex.livejournal.com]

I miss doing Captions and MSTings, myself. I just can't bring myself to be creative and funny while I'm at home.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's a shame - you were pretty funny in the ones you used to do. :(

Hopefully you'll eventually get your mojo back, though! Creativity's never truly gone, I think, it just goes into hibernation for a while. :)

[arex.livejournal.com]

I dunno about that now. :P I've been bitter and angry over the last few years so the humor'll be nothing but dark.

That and lemons are generally the most terrible things I can find, if only because digging through Fanfiction.net takes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay toooooooooooooo loooooooooooooong.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Well, even the dark humor has its place.

And I wouldn't worry too much: I know this is going to sound corny, but I think that if you keep pressing on and pushing past that anger/bitterness, eventually the dark skies will break for ya, and you'll have - at the very least - some of that light again (That hope is what's kept me around too, actually.). You seem like a real fighter, so I'm probably telling you something you already know, but... I guess it helps hearing it from someone else sometimes? ^^;


And LOL, FF.net. I don't even dare touch the place unless it's a rec by someone whose taste (whether it's taste in goodfic or badfic doesn't matter, sometimes I like reading the hilariously bad stuff) I trust - it's too damn huge! :O

[arex.livejournal.com]

We'll have to see, really. There's not threat of it like, overtaking me or anything. It's more like just being used to it and kind of ignoring it while knowing it's there.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see. That's good that you're both acknowledging it, but not allowing it to dominate your life.

Stay the course, soldier! It should eventually lead you to better times! :)

[jurhael.livejournal.com]

That's okay, I know how real life can get in the way. :)

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Thanks Alruhi, I appreciate that. ♥


And judging from that entry you last posted, I take it ficcing has been eating up most of your time? If so, I'm glad you've got your writing mojo going! :)

[jurhael.livejournal.com]

Actually, no, but it's slowly coming back since I've played Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. Well, that's good that you're getting your inspiration back, even if it's gradually! :)

And man, Crisis Core - I've been wanting to play that, but I don't have a PSP. Ah well, at least I got my DS to keep me busy, heh!

[redconverse.livejournal.com]

Yay, you're back! See, everything will be cool. :D

I got around to listening to at least ONE of the CDs... BUT OBSESSIVELY HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. Holy crap, I really need to play this game (TWEWY) because the music is so...

So...

FABULOUS

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks for prodding me, man. I don't know how much longer I would've put it off if you hadn't calmed me down enough to post... ^^;;

How'd the tooth filling go? Not too numb, I assume?

And hahahahahaha, I TOLD you TWEWY's music was really, wonderfully gay! I'd scold you about not having played the game itself yet (since I did send it to you at least a month back!), but... I still haven't tried it out myself yet, haha. So... let's slack together, yay? XD

[chaoscheebs.livejournal.com]

Hey, real life is kinda important too. No worries. =)

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your understanding, Chibs.

BTW, I hope work's treating you better these days - what you were dealing with a few weeks back sounded pretty rough.

On a different subject, I've been checking out your Wild Arms Screencap Adventures! Man, are those a blast from the past... *remembers messing with the horses as Rudy too, LOL* Oh, and your side commentary in between parts are really cute and silly. You've still got the touch for teh funneh! :D

[chaoscheebs.livejournal.com]

Work hasn't really changed much, but I ain't lettin' anyone run me off.

Ah, so you saw the screencap adventure! I still need to get the next part up. Cecilia's part is turning out MASSIVE because of all the books.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

If you love the work itself, then yes, don't let anybody make you feel otherwise. Besides, most of those people come and go, so if they keep being jerks, maybe in some time you won't have to deal with them anymore? Anyway, you just stay the course and do your best! :)

(LOL... Oh my, I've just been really "Go Fight Win!" in most of these replies... ah well, it's pretty good feeling this positive for a change!)


And yay, more screencap adventure soon! Can't wait to see it! :D

[rikoshi.livejournal.com]

No hard feelings about being away for so long. I am, however, glad to have you back. When I got the email notice that you'd commented on my LJ the other day, my ears went all *perk!* and I was all, "Hey, she's alive!" :)

Actually, just the other day, when I was packing to move, I used the box you sent those PSoH manga and such in as one of my 'nostalgia boxes' for stuff I packed up just because I couldn't bear to get rid of it. :)

[rikoshi.livejournal.com]

P.S. - I don't know if you heard, but I finally did write that book about two-legged animal-people that you always tried to convince me I could!

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Aww... thanks, Mongster, I'm just as really thrilled to hear from you! ♥ And I'm hella touched that you've even kept that box - I thought it was pretty, but I wasn't expecting it to still be getting use!

Speaking of PSoH, did you know that there's a sequel manga? The English title is PSoH: Tokyo. I have the first two (translated) volumes - haven't sat down to read them yet to know if they're any good, but still, the knowledge that there is more yummy Count D goodness makes me happy! :D


And yeah, I saw the info about your book when I was catching up with your LJ! All I can say is that I'm really happy and hellishly proud of your accomplishment (Told ya you could do it, heheh! ;P), and that I really REALLY need to put some cash aside so I can get myself a copy soon! (And hopefully somehow, someday get it signed by ya, too! ♥)

[ruaki.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, well at least you didn't just flat out become a hermit or anything, unlike some people I know. =_= The cool thing about online peeps is that we're generally here even if you have to take a leave of absence--just next time, be sure to drop a line or two so we don't think you died or anything, especially those of us that aren't horrendously close to you. D:

But beyond that, everything about your absence minus the computer hell seems really positive, and that's just awesome :D

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Eheheheh... well, part of the reason I felt like such a jerk about it was because the previous time I was stuck offline due to computer difficulties, I DID make an effort to stay in touch. ^^;;

Then again, the reason I didn't get on LJ much was because this time around, I was logging in from a friend's computer at her family's apartment (and not from an internet cafe like the other time), and I really didn't want to abuse the privilege by spending a lot of time on it. Plus, I wanted to spend some actual time with her while I was there, yanno? ^^;

But yeah, I should've really left a friends-locked post or something explaining the technical difficulties. Ack. ^^;;


Anyway... yes, it's been pretty awesome to get back with my local friends. I still need to try to locate two more of them (one's been living in GA for several years now, though, so I'll have to contact him through the phone or email; the other, I'm not sure if he's still living here or if he moved, and all I got the last time I called him was his voicemail), but it's been great to see the ones that're still around. :D

P.S:

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Also, that icon you just used is AMAZINGLY wrong. I love it. XD

Re: P.S:

[ruaki.livejournal.com]

Is it the one with the uh... cannon?

Yeah... that's Gintama. XD;