Coming back to life.

[aruru]

I'm back.


I can explain in detail what happened if anyone wishes to know, but the gist of it was: Things start innocently enough with old computer dying, got a new laptop (thanks to shinkuu's help), got DSL, switched modem that came with the DSL service to a wireless one, NEW computer has faulty motherboard and is sent away to get fixed (took maybe three weeks), then I manage to break TWO wireless modem/routers in the span of two months (by then it was the end of May or so when things with the comp/internet finally settled down).

However, in addition to the technical difficulties, well... remember those old high school friends I mentioned back in December? Well, at about the same time the computer stuff went down, my offline life decided to give me a sound kick in the rear by making me realize that, despite having neglected them for such a long time, they (especially one in particular) still wanted me in their lives; and I, after several years of living rather like a hermit, realized that I wanted... no, craved that company.

So, I started seeing them - as well as a longtime neighbor/very close friend who I also had neglected, who's currently going through some personal problems - regularly. Very, very regularly. At least once a week (usually my neighbor friend, since she's the closest), now that things have settled down a bit. My online time (which I'd reduced considerably) was also mostly eaten up by them for a good long while, since we use Facebook to keep in touch/plan stuff.

Once I started to have some more spare time online, however, I did, in the past few months, slowly manage to catch up with the entire backlog of entries for - at the very least - the LJs of my closest friends, and - in the case of those of you I don't know quite as well - went back a few months in those journals, so I'm MOSTLY up to speed in what y'all did during my absence. It was also a reason for my further delay in posting, as I wanted to be caught up with you guys before I said anything here.

...that and the fact that, when I started to realize how long it was taking me to catch up and just HOW long I'd been gone, I... well, I got anxious. And when I get anxious, I procrastinate (further). I started to think you guys would be angry at me for abandoning y'all so suddenly, and I couldn't handle the thought, so I took even longer to finish than it should've taken.

...which leads us to this point. Now that - with a little prodding from redconverse because frankly, I'm still really, really anxious - I'm here posting again, I wanted to say that:


I apologize. In my attempts to reconnect with my old local friends - which I had terribly neglected for many years - I wound up neglecting you guys just as much, and that's not fair at all, as your friendships are just as very real and important to me as theirs are. I only hope I can find a "happy medium" between online and offline life so as to not do that to any of you (and by that I also mean my local crew) ever again.

All I can hope for is your understanding, if nothing else. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry.

Comments

[arex.livejournal.com]

Good thing I update like once a month to make it easy to catch up with me!

But no harm done. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people because I consider myself too uninteresting to seek conversations. D:

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Yeah, your LJ was indeed one of the quickest I caught up with, incidentally!

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm glad to hear from you too - I know we're not as "close" like some of the other folks on my friendslist are, but I do always appreciate it when you post! ♥

And I can sympathize with the "feeling uninteresting" part - I too tend to think I am as such sometimes, eheh... ^^;;


BTW, I saw your Soul Calibur IV edits of the FFT cast and, even though I never got really far in FFT to see all the chara designs, they were pretty amazing likenesses! You really got a knack for this editing stuff. :)

[arex.livejournal.com]

It's cool. We'll always have those days where Cheebs, RJ, you and I were always a tight knit group...in captions. XD

It's a good thing I have a knack for never having a shortage of time, otherwise I wouldn't be able to make sprite or in-game character edits.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Yeah, those old things! Man, mine were SO lame and fangirly to the max... still, I miss 'em, as I lost the files about two computers ago. Sadpants. ;_;

But yes, I really had fun with our caption-sparring of yore! :D And hopefully we'll get to still talk at least every now and then, as long as we've got LJ to keep us together! ♥

[arex.livejournal.com]

I miss doing Captions and MSTings, myself. I just can't bring myself to be creative and funny while I'm at home.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's a shame - you were pretty funny in the ones you used to do. :(

Hopefully you'll eventually get your mojo back, though! Creativity's never truly gone, I think, it just goes into hibernation for a while. :)

[arex.livejournal.com]

I dunno about that now. :P I've been bitter and angry over the last few years so the humor'll be nothing but dark.

That and lemons are generally the most terrible things I can find, if only because digging through Fanfiction.net takes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay toooooooooooooo loooooooooooooong.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Well, even the dark humor has its place.

And I wouldn't worry too much: I know this is going to sound corny, but I think that if you keep pressing on and pushing past that anger/bitterness, eventually the dark skies will break for ya, and you'll have - at the very least - some of that light again (That hope is what's kept me around too, actually.). You seem like a real fighter, so I'm probably telling you something you already know, but... I guess it helps hearing it from someone else sometimes? ^^;


And LOL, FF.net. I don't even dare touch the place unless it's a rec by someone whose taste (whether it's taste in goodfic or badfic doesn't matter, sometimes I like reading the hilariously bad stuff) I trust - it's too damn huge! :O

[arex.livejournal.com]

We'll have to see, really. There's not threat of it like, overtaking me or anything. It's more like just being used to it and kind of ignoring it while knowing it's there.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see. That's good that you're both acknowledging it, but not allowing it to dominate your life.

Stay the course, soldier! It should eventually lead you to better times! :)