Coming back to life.

[aruru]

I'm back.


I can explain in detail what happened if anyone wishes to know, but the gist of it was: Things start innocently enough with old computer dying, got a new laptop (thanks to shinkuu's help), got DSL, switched modem that came with the DSL service to a wireless one, NEW computer has faulty motherboard and is sent away to get fixed (took maybe three weeks), then I manage to break TWO wireless modem/routers in the span of two months (by then it was the end of May or so when things with the comp/internet finally settled down).

However, in addition to the technical difficulties, well... remember those old high school friends I mentioned back in December? Well, at about the same time the computer stuff went down, my offline life decided to give me a sound kick in the rear by making me realize that, despite having neglected them for such a long time, they (especially one in particular) still wanted me in their lives; and I, after several years of living rather like a hermit, realized that I wanted... no, craved that company.

So, I started seeing them - as well as a longtime neighbor/very close friend who I also had neglected, who's currently going through some personal problems - regularly. Very, very regularly. At least once a week (usually my neighbor friend, since she's the closest), now that things have settled down a bit. My online time (which I'd reduced considerably) was also mostly eaten up by them for a good long while, since we use Facebook to keep in touch/plan stuff.

Once I started to have some more spare time online, however, I did, in the past few months, slowly manage to catch up with the entire backlog of entries for - at the very least - the LJs of my closest friends, and - in the case of those of you I don't know quite as well - went back a few months in those journals, so I'm MOSTLY up to speed in what y'all did during my absence. It was also a reason for my further delay in posting, as I wanted to be caught up with you guys before I said anything here.

...that and the fact that, when I started to realize how long it was taking me to catch up and just HOW long I'd been gone, I... well, I got anxious. And when I get anxious, I procrastinate (further). I started to think you guys would be angry at me for abandoning y'all so suddenly, and I couldn't handle the thought, so I took even longer to finish than it should've taken.

...which leads us to this point. Now that - with a little prodding from redconverse because frankly, I'm still really, really anxious - I'm here posting again, I wanted to say that:


I apologize. In my attempts to reconnect with my old local friends - which I had terribly neglected for many years - I wound up neglecting you guys just as much, and that's not fair at all, as your friendships are just as very real and important to me as theirs are. I only hope I can find a "happy medium" between online and offline life so as to not do that to any of you (and by that I also mean my local crew) ever again.

All I can hope for is your understanding, if nothing else. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry.

Comments

[arcian.livejournal.com]

Hey, there's no reason to feel bad about having stuff going on in your offline life! Real life happens, and honestly, it's healthy to have something more than just an online life, especially if someone needs you to be there for them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm not angry at all, we're cool, and if anyone seriously gives you shit over re-connecting with your offline friends instead of hovering obsessively over LJ, screw 'em.

[aruru.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Arcy. It's a relief to hear that from you too, like you wouldn't believe. *HUG* Thank you.

Oh, and I'm glad that trip with your family you came back from a few days ago went well. Too bad I didn't get back on here sooner, so I could join the bandwagon and prod ya for a drunken postcard too, eheh! ^^;;